so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My bed smells like the plague
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
