pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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