If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
