New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
