How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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