I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
