Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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