My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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