How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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