just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
