That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
