you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
