8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
