She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
