did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
