real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
it's great music for shaving your balls
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
