Midget sex pt 2 tonight
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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