just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
