Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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