I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
