i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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