I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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