I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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