Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
