if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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