I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
