I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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