Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
