How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
