11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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