Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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