I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
