I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
