I want to make a zoo with you.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She needs sedatives and a leash
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
