keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
