watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
