tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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