I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
