i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
