i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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