Nicole vs. Life
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The air was thick with penises
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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