I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
