The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
