There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
