I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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