so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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