you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
