i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I fill condoms, not promises.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I FOUND THE LEGS
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
