have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
