she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
