I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
