Porn is love you can see.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
