why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She's the barista slut.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
