Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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