I'm going to jail i love you
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
