So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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