After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He better not be in your backpack
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
