happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
