I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
