I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
